


Last Christmas

by LibbyWeasley



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Kisses, Mutual Pining, Sci-Ops Era, and they were ROOMMATES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 21:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17108216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibbyWeasley/pseuds/LibbyWeasley
Summary: Last Christmas didn’t go the way Fitz expected. Hopefully this Christmas will be better.Basically just two clueless nerds, holiday style.





	Last Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> So, apparently “Last Christmas” has been played waaaaay too many times and this got stuck in my head.
> 
> There are mentions of Jemma’s boyfriend Milton and Fitz’s girlfriend Amanda, but that lasts for about 10 seconds. 
> 
> This is unbeta’d so let me know if there are any horrible mistakes. 
> 
> Merry Christmas!

_Last Christmas_

He knew they shouldn’t have booked their flights home so close to Christmas, but Simmons was determined to work until the last possible minute before flying home for a few days to see her family. So of course he stayed with her. The last two people working in the lab at Sci-Ops on Christmas Eve. Maybe the last two people working in SHIELD.

But even with all of her preparation, she couldn’t have anticipated the blizzard that would hit just as they were about to make their way to the airport. The blizzard that would cancel their flights and ensure they’d be spending the holiday together instead of with their families.

After stopping to buy groceries on the way home, they fell into their regular routine.

“I’ll get dinner together tonight,” Fitz offered.

“And I’m assuming I get to make Christmas dinner?” Simmons teased.

“Well, yeah...but only because you are better at it.”

She seemed mildly placated and the evening proceeded as planned. They opened a bottle of wine and settled down in front of the telly to watch cheesy Christmas rom-coms. He may have teased her about it, but he didn’t mind that much. He liked seeing her happy and he secretly craved the kind of happily ever after that was part of every single movie they watched.

But between the alcohol still buzzing through their systems and the happy couples on the screen, Fitz found himself closer to Simmons than usual, his arm wrapped around her shoulders and her body pressed against his side.

Sometime after midnight, he clicked the TV off and felt compelled to lean down to kiss her. Her mouth was soft and the kiss was sweet. She didn’t pull away like he thought she might. Instead she reached a hand up to his cheek and kissed him back.

It felt like a Christmas miracle, and in the quiet flat with the snow falling outside, it seemed like anything was possible. So, gathering all of his courage, Fitz forced out the words he wanted to say more than anything else.

“Jemma, I love you.”

He pressed his forehead to hers and they just gazed into each other’s eyes, hers sleepy and a little dazed...until he realized she hadn’t responded. Panic descended like a dark cloud and he was about to take it all back when she kissed him again, her tongue pressing into his mouth and her arms snaking around his neck.

They lay on the sofa, tangled together, until sleep overtook them.

When he woke in the morning, she was gone, like she had never been there at all.

 

* * *

 

Jemma woke up feeling completely at peace. Even though the holiday hadn’t gone quite as expected, she still had Fitz and they could have fun no matter what. It was then that she noticed that she was already with Fitz and his arm was wrapped around her. That must be why she felt so warm and cozy this morning. She normally woke to cold toes and a desire to stay in bed rather than venture onto the icy bathroom tiles.

But why was she using Fitz as a pillow?

He snored softly and she studied him. They must have fallen asleep after watching that last movie. She remembered the handsome postman kissing Santa Claus’s daughter...and that was it. Fitz must have turned it off after she fell asleep. Her head was a little fuzzy. And she remembered having the craziest dream about kissing Fitz. She touched her lips with one finger and for a second she could pretend it had been real. But there was no way her handsome, awkward, perfect best friend had kissed her.

She extricated herself from Fitz’s grasp, careful not to disturb him, as she smiled to herself. Fitz would be terribly embarrassed if he knew that they had slept together on the couch. He was protective of his personal space — outside the lab at least. She grabbed the blanket tossed over the back of the sofa and settled it over him.

When he woke up she’d just tell him not to worry about anything that happened the night before. They could just forget all about it and pretend it never happened.

 

_This Christmas_

This Christmas would be different, Jemma thought. She had learned her lesson last year. There would be no flight home to see her parents. The weather was too unpredictable. She had already taken time off in March when travel would be much simpler.

As she put the final touches on the decorations in their flat, she hummed a holiday song. It was really looking quite festive. Gathering up her bag, she headed out the door, ready for one more day of work before Christmas Eve. Fitz had left early, which was becoming more and more normal. Thinking back, she realized it had been almost an entire year since things had felt “normal” between them, though maybe this was normal and whatever they had been before was what hadn’t been.

But Fitz had a girlfriend. And she had a boyfriend. And they’d all be spending Christmas Eve together. Like adults. It didn’t matter that Jemma felt a little flare of jealousy whenever she saw Fitz with Amanda. She just missed him. As a friend. And she had Milton, after all. No one could ask for a more agreeable companion.

No, they had just grown up this past year...and apart. It was bound to happen eventually. She just hadn’t expected it so soon.

“Jemma! There you are.” It was Milton, coming over to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Good morning, Milton,” she said as cheerfully as she could muster. Through the lab windows she could see Amanda standing next to Fitz while he patiently explained something to her. It made Jemma’s blood boil. Amanda didn’t even work on projects with Fitz. She shouldn’t be interfering with his work. Didn’t she realize that Fitz needed a calm, ordered work environment?

“Jemma, are you even listening?”

She turned her gaze back to Milton and gave a noncommittal response. “Hmmmm?”

“Look, Jemma, you know I love you right?” Milton asked. “But I’m not sure this is going to work out.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Jemma shook her head, clearing out the rest of her frustration with Amanda. “What? Are you breaking up with me?”

“Yes?”

“Is that a question or a statement?” Jemma had just about had enough with his wishy-washy responses to her questions.

“Ummm,” Milton stalled, appearing to wilt under her stare. “It’s a statement? Yes, a statement.”

“Oh.” Jemma was shocked. Not upset, but still surprised. Everything seemed to be going just fine. They were mostly compatible physically. He was attractive. Their conversations sometimes left something to be desired, but she had thought she was out of his league and not the other way around.

“Oh?” He looked at her, a flicker of concern crossing his face, like he wasn’t sure what she was going to do.

“Just...oh.”

When she didn’t say anything more, he spoke again.

“I won’t be coming over for Christmas Eve. Obviously. I’m going to spend the holiday with my parents.”

“Right. Absolutely.” Now that they were broken up, Jemma realized she didn’t have to listen to whatever he was going to say next. “Alright then. I should get to work. I’ll see you around, Milton.”

Before he could speak again, she took off, walking briskly into the lab she shared with Fitz and dropping her bag on the counter next to her workstation. The sound was loud enough that Fitz and Amanda turned towards her.

“Everything alright, Simmons?” Fitz asked cautiously.

“Fine. Just fine. I’m right as rain.” She started opening the programs and files she needed in order to finish the analysis on the samples she had received the day before, tapping her fingers angrily on the keyboard. “It’s just...it’s just, what kind of person breaks up with someone two days before Christmas?”

“You broke up with Milton?” Fitz’s voice sounded oddly distant and when Jemma raised her head to look at him she saw that Amanda had turned towards him too.

“Fitz, are you feeling alright? I hope you are aren’t coming down with something.” She wanted to put her hand on his forehead to check for a fever. But she really couldn’t do that with his _girlfriend_ standing right there. For some reason Amanda got upset whenever Jemma got to close to Fitz. Like she owned him or something. It was very disconcerting.

“No...I’m fine.”

Amanda put her hand on Fitz’s arm and Jemma looked away. The touch seemed strangely intimate and her equilibrium was shaken.

“It sounds like Milton dumped Jemma,” Amanda said, sugary sweetness dripping from her words.

“Yes, Amanda. You’re right. Milton broke up with me. Now please excuse me, I have samples that need to be analyzed.”

Jemma’s jaw was starting to ache from being clenched so tightly. She wasn’t sure what she was trying to prove, but she felt compelled to continue with her forced cheerfulness. She wouldn’t have had to if it had just been Fitz. But with Amanda there it was different.

There was silence from the other side of the lab and Jemma quickly became absorbed in her work. The next time she became aware of the world outside her research, it was because Fitz was asking her to join him for lunch.

“I’m meeting Amanda down in the cafeteria, but I’m sure she won’t mind.” He was looking at her with those eyes and that smile and she very much wanted to say yes, but she didn’t want to be the third wheel. The third wheel she would very much be at dinner tomorrow night.

“That’s alright, Fitz. You go ahead. I’m just going to stay here and sort through this data,” she said.

“I don’t want you to be upset,” he said softly.

“I’m not upset about Milton…”

“Good. Because he is the worst.” Fitz said it with such conviction that she started to laugh. Then he wrapped one warm hand around her wrist. “If you need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Fitz.”

They stayed frozen in that moment until Fitz’s phone buzzed with a text.

“You better go meet her before she comes back up here again,” Jemma said.

“Right. I’ll see you later.”

 

* * *

 

Fitz walked slowly towards the cafeteria, turning the facts over in his mind. Jemma was single. Milton had broken up with her. None of it made sense. After last Christmas Fitz had tried harder than ever to date and spend time with other friends. It just hurt too much to be rejected like that. Jemma had never even acknowledged their kiss. It felt like that was something they should have talked about. But seeing her today, alone, hadn’t felt right either. He should be with her instead of Amanda right now.

But Amanda was his girlfriend, not Jemma. He had confessed his feelings for her and she had just wanted to forget that it had happened.

Sliding into the empty seat across from Amanda, Fitz forced himself to focus on the woman in front of him, not the one he could never have.

“Fitz, we need to talk.” The words were like ice water through his veins. She sounded serious and for a second he wondered if she could actually read his mind. But that was ridiculous. She wasn’t clairvoyant.

“What do we need to talk about?” he asked cautiously.

“You and Jemma.”

“Me...and J-Simmons? We are just friends. I’ve told you that before.”

“Are you, Fitz? Are you really?”

He nodded, words failing him.

“Can you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t have feelings for her? Feelings that go beyond friendship.”

Fitz took a deep breath. It wasn’t like this was a polygraph test. All he had to do was lie to his girlfriend about his feelings for his best friend.

“I do not have any feelings for Jemma.”

“Fitz, you are a terrible liar! There is no way you are ever going to pass your field assessments.”

Fitz tried to say something, but she waved a hand at him.

“No, let me say this. I like you. I really like you. But whenever you see her, or talk about her — hell, sometimes when I’m guessing you are just thinking about her — you get all happy.”

Fitz frowned, but she apparently wasn’t done.

“I’m not going to be in a relationship with a guy who is in love with someone else. Especially now that she is single. And _especially_ when you live with her.”

“I’m not in love with Jemma.” He had thought the words often enough this past year that he hoped they rang true now that he spoke them out loud.

“Puh-lease, Fitz. Everyone knows you are in love with her. I just thought that maybe it wasn’t true. Or there was more to the story. But the way your face lit up when you heard that things were over between her and Milton...well, that was enough for me.”

Amanda got up. “I’ll see you around, Fitz.”

Fitz walked back towards the lab, feeling dejected. Not that he’d miss Amanda. But he thought he was finally moving on and now they were right back where they started. Tomorrow they’d be spending Christmas Eve together. Just the two of them. And memories of last year filled his mind. Jemma making him watch those ridiculous movies. Jemma snuggled beside him. Jemma kissing him. Bloody hell. Every important memory he had included her somehow. Maybe they should think about getting their own flats instead of being roommates. But, no. They were still best friends. No need to make things weird.

 

* * *

Christmas Eve Day dawned chilly and snowy, perfect Christmas weather as far as Jemma was concerned. And now that they weren’t having any visitors today, she could enjoy the day with Fitz. They really hadn’t been spending enough time together lately.

But Fitz was nowhere to be found when she went to the kitchen for some tea. And he was nowhere to be found when she started cooking...or when she started playing Christmas carols to brighten her mood. He didn’t appear until the early afternoon, hair still wet from the shower, but dressed in a blue button down that she loved along with dark grey trousers.

“Fitz, you look very handsome today.”

He flushed and replied, “And you look lovely, Simmons, as always.”

She glanced down at her red sweater paired with a black skirt that swished around her knees when she walked. Just a regular holiday ensemble, but it was nice to know her efforts were appreciated.

She smoothed a hand over her curls and asked, “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Ah, yes.”

Jemma handed him a glass and felt a strange tingling when their fingers brushed together. That had been happening more and more recently. She tried to ignore it, knowing that he didn’t feel the same thing she did. Ever since last Christmas she had felt a little uncomfortable around him. Or not uncomfortable. Just on edge.

“Help me finish cooking?” she asked, turning back to the vegetables she was chopping.

“Sure...what do you need me to do?”

The next hour was spent working and talking, much like they did in the lab. Cooking was a lot like chemistry after all. They made far too much food for just the two of them, but it _was_ a holiday. And that just meant more leftovers so they wouldn’t have to cook for a few days.

But after the meal had been finished and the dishes washed, silence fell between them. Jemma had assumed the two couples would talk or play a game. But she had seemingly run out of things to say to Fitz. That had certainly never happened before. And it also occurred to her that this was the first time they had both been single since last Christmas, and she was reminded again of her dream. His lips on hers, the warmth of his skin.

“I should...I have some work to do,” Fitz finally said, forcing her out of her daydream.

“It’s Christmas, Fitz! You can’t work right now.”

“It isn’t for a work project. Not yet at least,” he said. “More for fun?”

He grabbed his laptop and pulled up the design to show her.

“It’s a drone.” She looked at him sharply. “Why are you designing a drone?”

“I was thinking if we could miniaturize some sensors these drones would be able to take measurements and do analysis. So agents wouldn’t have to.”

Jemma looked over the design, taking in all of the details in Fitz’s work. He was always so precise and thorough. “This is brilliant, Fitz. _You_ are brilliant.”

She turned to look at him and suddenly his blue eyes were close. She licked her lips and then bit down on her bottom lip to remind herself that she couldn’t kiss him.

Taking a deep breath to clear her head, she said, “I have an idea.”

 

* * *

__

They spent the rest of the evening working, only taking a short break to warm up some food when his stomach started growling, and Fitz couldn’t remember a nicer holiday. Jemma had given him ideas for two more drones and they had worked on mapping out the specs. He had started to doubt himself. Amanda had never shown any interest in the drones, particularly since it wasn’t a funded project, but Jemma’s enthusiasm reminded him what it was like to be with someone who really got him. Well, not _with_. He wasn’t _with_ Jemma.

“What if you designed one that could analyze unknown substances and determine their density...so you don’t have to touch anything without knowing what it is.”

“Jemma, I could kiss you.” He said the words without thinking and then froze.

“Then why don’t you?” Her voice was soft and close to his ear. Seductive.

“You know why bloody not, Simmons.”

She jerked back. And he immediately felt guilty. “Jemma...don’t.”

He reached out to touch her shoulder, and then slid his hand down her arm until he could grab her hand. For some reason he really didn’t want to let her go.

She sniffled and he felt like an absolute wanker. Why didn’t he just kiss her? She said she wanted him to. But she didn’t move any further away.

“It’s okay, Fitz,” she said, after a few moments of silence. “I shouldn’t have —“

“No, Jemma...it’s just that the last time I kissed you it didn’t exactly go to way I thought it would.”

“What do you mean, the last time?” she said, turning toward him but not letting go of his hand.

He felt hot and knew his face must be red. “You really want to talk about this now? Fine. Last Christmas.”

“Last Christmas?”

“Yeah. Last Christmas. We kissed. I told you I love you,” he bit the words out, ignoring her gasp, “and you told me we should just forget it happened.”

He wanted to sound angry, but he suspected he just sounded hurt. Well, now this Christmas was likely ruined as well. He couldn’t imagine a way for them to spend tomorrow together after this conversation.

“Oh, Fitz.” Jemma sounded close to tears. “It was too perfect to be real, so I thought it was a dream. And you never said anything. When I woke up in the morning I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed that we’d slept together on the couch. I thought...I thought…”

“That’s okay, Simmons. I know you don’t feel the same way I d—“

And then she was in his arms. And her lips were on his, her breasts pressed against his chest. He let out a groan as she sucked on his lower lip. This was a surprising turn of events. He realized he was just standing there and kissed her back before she could get the wrong idea.

Her kiss was hungry and searching. Everything he would expect from Jemma if he’d thought about it. He met her, sliding his tongue past her lips and mapping her mouth. He wanted to know every part of her and this seemed like a good place to start.

Jemma pressed herself even closer to him, bringing her arms around his neck to hold him against her, and his hands landed on her hips, rubbing small circles into the fabric of her skirt.

His hands were restless, their lips still sliding against each other, and one hand made its way under her sweater and up her back, holding her close, while he dropped his head to lay kisses on the soft skin of her shoulder.

“Fitz…” Jemma let out a moan as he licked across her collarbone. “I-I thought it was a dream. I woke up and it didn’t seem real. I wouldn’t have —“

“It’s okay, Jemma. You don’t have to explain.”

“No, I do. I never wanted to hurt you. Why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you get angry with me?”

Fitz stopped his exploration of her body and ran a hand through his hair. “Do you think I wasn’t upset? I was. But not with you. You didn’t owe me anything and I didn’t want to mess up the best thing in my life.”

He moved his hand higher, stroking a finger lightly up the middle of her back and felt her shiver at his touch.

“But Fitz, it has been a whole year. You had a girlfriend!”

“I was trying to forget about you. Turned out that was bloody useless.”

“We live together, Fitz. We work in the same lab, side by side, everyday. How exactly were you planning on forgetting about me?” She was smiling now and he didn’t know what to think.

“Well...I don’t know.”

Jemma stepped back and he released her even though he really didn’t want to. She took his hands in hers so they were standing facing one another, hands clasped between them, and he allowed his thumb to trace over her skin.

“I’d rather you didn’t forget about me,” Jemma said softly. “And I’m really, really sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“But I am! I missed out on a whole year’s worth of your kisses,” she said, tugging on his hands until their bodies were touching once more. And this time they both smiled before their lips met.

Some time later they were tucked under a blanket on the couch, Fitz’s hand lazily inching up her leg. They were watching Christmas movies again, but this time all of Jemma’s focus was on him, and she dropped kisses everywhere she could reach, which was a lot of places since she kept undoing more buttons and pushing his clothes out of the way with her searching hands.

“I don’t think we should waste any more time,” Fitz said when the movie finally came to an end.

“Oh!” Jemma squeaked. “Do you want to have sex?”

“No!” Fitz practically shouted, and Jemma nearly tumbled to the floor as he sat all the way up. “Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant. I mean, yes, I’d like to...but I meant—“

Thankfully, Jemma stopped his rambling with a kiss and made herself more comfortable, or maybe she was just making it more difficult for her to be dislodged in case he startled again, with a knee on each side of his hips and her skirt pushed up, exposing her thighs. His hands went to rest on her thighs, trying to hold her slightly away from him. But then she ground down on him and he gave up that battle, wrapping his arms around her and dropping his hands to her bum to pull her closer.

She let out a moan and he remembered there was something he wanted to say to her.

“Jemma...Jemma, stop for a minute.”

“Why? I like this with you.”

“Umm, yes, well, I like this too, but I thought maybe youwouldbemygirlfriend?”

The words came out all at once and he knew his face was burning. But this was important. They couldn’t muck this up again and he needed to know they were in the same place.

She studied his face for a moment and seemed satisfied with what she saw there.

“Leo Fitz, I love you. And I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

He was probably smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t care. Jemma Simmons, the most incredible woman he’d ever met, was his girlfriend. And she was straddling him on their sofa. Best. Christmas. Ever.

“Fitz? Kiss me again. It’s Christmas.”

“Right. Of course.”

It was just midnight and they still had Christmas Day ahead of them. But he wasn’t worried. This Christmas was nothing like last year. This time he’d make sure she knew it was all real when she woke up. Maybe he could convince her to sleep in his room so there would be no doubt in her mind. But there would be time for that later. Right now he needed to get back to kissing her.

“Happy Christmas, Jemma.”

“Happy Christmas, Fitz,” she answered with a smile before pulling his head down to hers.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @LibbyWeasley


End file.
